14 hours of sleep (in three nights), 2 days of packing, 2 days of Christmas shopping, and 23454556 minutes of last-second frantic filling out of grad school applications and I am ready to come home! The only thing I have left to do is travel for the next 23 hours before I can set foot in my nice little suburban house in Santa Clarita. Seriously.
2 hour train (Kuwana -> Osaka)
1 hour bus (Osaka -> Kansai airport)
3 hours at the airport
10 hour flight (Kansai airport -> Vancouver)
2 hour layover (Vancouver)
3 hour flight (Vancourver -> LAX)
1 hour shuttle bus (LAX -> Van Nuys)
1 hour car drive (Van Nuys -> Santa Clarita)
Wheeeee! I am so tired...
Currently reading: nothing. I'm saving Bridget Jones's Diary for the plane journey!
child devil of tuna
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Thursday, December 16, 2004
My brain is FRIED from my last minute frantic putting together of grad school apps so that I can mail them off by the deadline that I set for myself (almost done! Whew!) and I came across an ethnic origin question in the Personal Data section of the Cambridge application that struck me as being a little odd:
Instructions: Choose one section from A to E, then tick the appropriate box to indicate your background.
A. White
__ White - British
__ White - Irish
__ White - Other white background
B. Mixed
__ White and Black Caribbean
__ White and Black African
__ White and Asian
__ Any other mixed background
C. Asian or Asian British
__ Pakistani
__ Bangladeshi
__ Any other Asian background
__ Indian
D. Black or Black British
__ Caribbean
__ African
__ Other Black background
E. Chinese or Chinese British or other ethnic group
__ Chinese
__ Any other background
So now I'm confused. I don't really fit into any of those categories. C seems to fit the best, but I am not Asian nor am I Asian British. I am Asian American (since they're making a distinction between being Asian FROM Asia and being an Asian born in the UK). I guess that means I might fall under E's second choice, "Any other background." However, this question is also vague. Is this "Any other background" within the ethnically Chinese population or anything that doesn't fit into any of the previously mentioned categories? And aren't Chinese people Asian? Shouldn't they fall under the "Asian" category? Or maybe when they say "C. Asian or Asian British," they really mean South Asian? I don't know nor do I fully understand and I'm leaving that question blank. It's optional anyway.
Oh, and P.S. I just purchased shoes B. They should be on my doorstep when I get home (only 5 days left!!).
Instructions: Choose one section from A to E, then tick the appropriate box to indicate your background.
A. White
__ White - British
__ White - Irish
__ White - Other white background
B. Mixed
__ White and Black Caribbean
__ White and Black African
__ White and Asian
__ Any other mixed background
C. Asian or Asian British
__ Pakistani
__ Bangladeshi
__ Any other Asian background
__ Indian
D. Black or Black British
__ Caribbean
__ African
__ Other Black background
E. Chinese or Chinese British or other ethnic group
__ Chinese
__ Any other background
So now I'm confused. I don't really fit into any of those categories. C seems to fit the best, but I am not Asian nor am I Asian British. I am Asian American (since they're making a distinction between being Asian FROM Asia and being an Asian born in the UK). I guess that means I might fall under E's second choice, "Any other background." However, this question is also vague. Is this "Any other background" within the ethnically Chinese population or anything that doesn't fit into any of the previously mentioned categories? And aren't Chinese people Asian? Shouldn't they fall under the "Asian" category? Or maybe when they say "C. Asian or Asian British," they really mean South Asian? I don't know nor do I fully understand and I'm leaving that question blank. It's optional anyway.
Oh, and P.S. I just purchased shoes B. They should be on my doorstep when I get home (only 5 days left!!).
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Just when I thought that life in Japan couldn't get more exciting, I figure out how to send photos from my cell phone to my laptop via an infrared data transfer! You have no idea just how ecstatic I am!
On top of Mt. Fuji, all covered in fog...
Sunset in Kuwana. The smoke in the foreground is a rice paddy in flames.
Red leaves of Kyoto (but this time in HIGH QUALITY TECHNICOLOR JPEG! sort of).
Grocery shopping earlier today. Yes, that's a $7 papaya and a $5 pomegranate.
On top of Mt. Fuji, all covered in fog...
Sunset in Kuwana. The smoke in the foreground is a rice paddy in flames.
Red leaves of Kyoto (but this time in HIGH QUALITY TECHNICOLOR JPEG! sort of).
Grocery shopping earlier today. Yes, that's a $7 papaya and a $5 pomegranate.
Monday, December 13, 2004
In the States, popularity in school can be achieved through a variety of different ways: fashion sense (which is highly dependent on the shallowness or the disposable income of the parents), athletic prowess, cheerleader status, or the politics of student government. Duh.
However, Japan is a different story. Japanese schools have a strict(ish) uniform policy, so that kills the fashion factor. Besides, all Japanese people blindly follow the latest trends, so there is hardly anyone who doesn't already dress/accessorize excatly like the person sitting next to them. Athletic prowess is also not as important a determining factor, since almost every student in junior high and high school is required to participate in school-sponsored sports clubs. There are no cheerleaders in Japan. Moving on. Student government is not nearly as important to the school-based social lives of students here when compared to the popularity contest circus (to which all ASB elections ultimately devolve) in the States. This all leads me to wonder, what exactly is the grease that oils the cogs of the Japanese popularity contest?
I have finally cracked the code and I call it "Grace's Theorem":
The level of popularity of a Japanese junior high school student is DIRECTLY proportional the severity of said student's Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (A.D.H.D.).
Case in point: Let's take a look at Aki-chan, who is arguably the most popular girl at Seitoku Junior High School, despite only being a second year student. I can't stand her. She needs medication. She's also dumb as a rock because she can't sit in a classroom for more than 5 minutes at a time and spends the rest of the time running from classroom to classroom. She likes to ask "what are we doing right now?" and in the middle of my response, she'll get up and leave the room, only to return 10 minutes later and start that all over again. Not to mention, she spends half of the day walking up and down the hallways, kicking the walls, and screaming at the top of her lungs. Her footprints can be found all over every single wall on every floor of the main building. Does anyone do anything about her? Of course not. That's not the Japanese way.
Case Study #2: Daichi-kun, the most popular 3rd year student. He's bad at sports, bad at school, and has a bad-ass monster-mullet which rivals that of MacGuyver's. He's just as annoying as Aki-chan, but to make things worse, he likes to pick fights, has violent mood swings, and thinks it's really funny to pretend to fall asleep in the back of class and call himself on his cell phone and not answer it. If I were in charge, I would take his phone and chuck it out the 4th-story window.
Nut Bag #3: Kazuya-kun, 2nd most popular 3rd year student. He's like the previous two, but with one very "special" difference: he can't stop talking about masturbating. He also runs up and down the halls screaming. But he's usually screaming things like "BIG DICK!!" and "FUCK YOU!" instead of just straight up incoherent yelling (like Aki-chan).
I like teaching most of the time, but I would prefer it if the teachers here would acknowledge the fact that some students cannot be left to do whatever they please. Not only does it make MY job hard, it noticeably distresses the other students. The homeroom classes of those 3 students happen to also be my three worst classes at that particular school. Surprise surprise, it doesn't take a genius to figure stuff like that out.
Currently reading: Us Magazine (thanks Shan!)
Currently playing: Pizzicato Five - International Pizzicato Five Mansion
However, Japan is a different story. Japanese schools have a strict(ish) uniform policy, so that kills the fashion factor. Besides, all Japanese people blindly follow the latest trends, so there is hardly anyone who doesn't already dress/accessorize excatly like the person sitting next to them. Athletic prowess is also not as important a determining factor, since almost every student in junior high and high school is required to participate in school-sponsored sports clubs. There are no cheerleaders in Japan. Moving on. Student government is not nearly as important to the school-based social lives of students here when compared to the popularity contest circus (to which all ASB elections ultimately devolve) in the States. This all leads me to wonder, what exactly is the grease that oils the cogs of the Japanese popularity contest?
I have finally cracked the code and I call it "Grace's Theorem":
The level of popularity of a Japanese junior high school student is DIRECTLY proportional the severity of said student's Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (A.D.H.D.).
Case in point: Let's take a look at Aki-chan, who is arguably the most popular girl at Seitoku Junior High School, despite only being a second year student. I can't stand her. She needs medication. She's also dumb as a rock because she can't sit in a classroom for more than 5 minutes at a time and spends the rest of the time running from classroom to classroom. She likes to ask "what are we doing right now?" and in the middle of my response, she'll get up and leave the room, only to return 10 minutes later and start that all over again. Not to mention, she spends half of the day walking up and down the hallways, kicking the walls, and screaming at the top of her lungs. Her footprints can be found all over every single wall on every floor of the main building. Does anyone do anything about her? Of course not. That's not the Japanese way.
Case Study #2: Daichi-kun, the most popular 3rd year student. He's bad at sports, bad at school, and has a bad-ass monster-mullet which rivals that of MacGuyver's. He's just as annoying as Aki-chan, but to make things worse, he likes to pick fights, has violent mood swings, and thinks it's really funny to pretend to fall asleep in the back of class and call himself on his cell phone and not answer it. If I were in charge, I would take his phone and chuck it out the 4th-story window.
Nut Bag #3: Kazuya-kun, 2nd most popular 3rd year student. He's like the previous two, but with one very "special" difference: he can't stop talking about masturbating. He also runs up and down the halls screaming. But he's usually screaming things like "BIG DICK!!" and "FUCK YOU!" instead of just straight up incoherent yelling (like Aki-chan).
I like teaching most of the time, but I would prefer it if the teachers here would acknowledge the fact that some students cannot be left to do whatever they please. Not only does it make MY job hard, it noticeably distresses the other students. The homeroom classes of those 3 students happen to also be my three worst classes at that particular school. Surprise surprise, it doesn't take a genius to figure stuff like that out.
Currently reading: Us Magazine (thanks Shan!)
Currently playing: Pizzicato Five - International Pizzicato Five Mansion
Monday, December 06, 2004
Exactly two weeks and 5 hours from now, I will be ON A PLANE heading for beauuuuuuutiful California! I totally can't wait!
After being blessed with an unusually long, warm autumn, winter has officially set it. I can tell because today, I felt compelled to hold my pee as long as humanly possibly in order to avoid having to have to drop my pants in an ice-cold bathroom stall. I managed to go four class periods before giving into nature's urges. I'm sure you all wanted to know that.
But the cold weather isn't all bad. This weekend, I am heading over to Gifu-ken for this season's first snowboarding season! Yes, I will be ripping up the slopes on my phatty new board and in my hot hot threads. Or else I will be eating snow as I plow face-first down the mountain.
I made a kick-ass chili last night. I now have another recipe to add to my repertoire of...dum-dum-DUM...about four recipes. The only problem is, I was over-zealous and ended up making enough for me to eat chili with rice twice a day for the rest of this week. Oops.
And last but not least, I leave you with this: another wonderful lesson in English (this one courtesy of the 9th grade textbook).
Sneeze on Monday, sneeze for danger;
Sneeze on Tuesday, kiss a stranger;
Sneeze on Wednesday, get a letter;
Sneeze on Thursday, something better;
Sneeze on Friday, sneeze for sorrow;
Sneeze on Saturday, see your sweetheart tomorrow.
I'm actually not sure what purpose that poem is supposed to serve (if it's meant to embarrass me, then it's a wild success). They're supposed to have learned the days of the week in 7th grade. All I know is that I have to read it out loud and try to make a bunch of self-conscious 15-year-olds repeat after me. I'm sorry! I didn't write the textbook. Trust me, I would like to shoot the person who did.
Currently reading: Frank Herbert - Dune Messiah
Currently playing: Sneeze on Monday
After being blessed with an unusually long, warm autumn, winter has officially set it. I can tell because today, I felt compelled to hold my pee as long as humanly possibly in order to avoid having to have to drop my pants in an ice-cold bathroom stall. I managed to go four class periods before giving into nature's urges. I'm sure you all wanted to know that.
But the cold weather isn't all bad. This weekend, I am heading over to Gifu-ken for this season's first snowboarding season! Yes, I will be ripping up the slopes on my phatty new board and in my hot hot threads. Or else I will be eating snow as I plow face-first down the mountain.
I made a kick-ass chili last night. I now have another recipe to add to my repertoire of...dum-dum-DUM...about four recipes. The only problem is, I was over-zealous and ended up making enough for me to eat chili with rice twice a day for the rest of this week. Oops.
And last but not least, I leave you with this: another wonderful lesson in English (this one courtesy of the 9th grade textbook).
Sneeze on Monday, sneeze for danger;
Sneeze on Tuesday, kiss a stranger;
Sneeze on Wednesday, get a letter;
Sneeze on Thursday, something better;
Sneeze on Friday, sneeze for sorrow;
Sneeze on Saturday, see your sweetheart tomorrow.
I'm actually not sure what purpose that poem is supposed to serve (if it's meant to embarrass me, then it's a wild success). They're supposed to have learned the days of the week in 7th grade. All I know is that I have to read it out loud and try to make a bunch of self-conscious 15-year-olds repeat after me. I'm sorry! I didn't write the textbook. Trust me, I would like to shoot the person who did.
Currently reading: Frank Herbert - Dune Messiah
Currently playing: Sneeze on Monday
Thursday, December 02, 2004
In honor of all that is holy and nerdy, I will pause for a moment--take time out of my oh so busy schedule--to ponder something that has absolutely no pertinence to real life.
What is the difference between a geek, a nerd, and a dork?
I consider myself to be a nerd, but not necessarily a geek or a dork. However, if I do something really stupid, I feel that my behavior dips into dorkdom. A distinction between the three MUST exist, seeing as how I don't think of them as being synonymous, but when explicitly asked what the difference is between the three, I get stuck.
NERD: A person who values intelligence. A person who continually strives to further his or her knowledge of the world around them. The "knowledge" in question is almost exclusively limited to book knowledge. People with "street smarts," "business sense," or other more practical intelligences almost never fall under the NERD category.
GEEK: A nerd who specializes in technology-related knowledge. Video game geeks. Computer geeks. These people carry Palm Pilots, own every game console known to man, or live day to day with eyes glued to computer screens. Geekdom is a subset of nerdom, in my opinion. All GEEKS are NERDS, but not all NERDS are GEEKS. Hence, I am a NERD, but I am not computer-savvy enough to be a GEEK.
DORK: Has nothing to do with intelligence. "DORK" implies social retardedness. Being smart doesn't automatically make you socially retarded, but spending one's time buried in books can lead to dorkiness. Nerdiness and dorkiness do not share a causal relationship, but they are not mutually exclusive either. I don't think I am a DORK (most of the time), but that's probably up to you people to decide.
Then there are the NERD/DORK/GEEKS who transcend these generalizations and dive so deeply into fantastical fictional worlds that it boggles the minds of even the nerdiest of nerds. You know who you are. The Trekkies, the Star Woids, the comic book guy from the Simpsons. I simply don't understand you people and your desires to own a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Mr. Spock. Klingon is not a real language.
But hey, whatever floats your boat. Who's to say I'm not weird. After all, I wanted to have a party celebrating the 50th anniversary of the discovery of the double-helical structure of DNA two years ago.
Currently reading: Margaret Atwood - The Handmaid's Tale
Currently playing: nothing. I'm at school.
What is the difference between a geek, a nerd, and a dork?
I consider myself to be a nerd, but not necessarily a geek or a dork. However, if I do something really stupid, I feel that my behavior dips into dorkdom. A distinction between the three MUST exist, seeing as how I don't think of them as being synonymous, but when explicitly asked what the difference is between the three, I get stuck.
NERD: A person who values intelligence. A person who continually strives to further his or her knowledge of the world around them. The "knowledge" in question is almost exclusively limited to book knowledge. People with "street smarts," "business sense," or other more practical intelligences almost never fall under the NERD category.
GEEK: A nerd who specializes in technology-related knowledge. Video game geeks. Computer geeks. These people carry Palm Pilots, own every game console known to man, or live day to day with eyes glued to computer screens. Geekdom is a subset of nerdom, in my opinion. All GEEKS are NERDS, but not all NERDS are GEEKS. Hence, I am a NERD, but I am not computer-savvy enough to be a GEEK.
DORK: Has nothing to do with intelligence. "DORK" implies social retardedness. Being smart doesn't automatically make you socially retarded, but spending one's time buried in books can lead to dorkiness. Nerdiness and dorkiness do not share a causal relationship, but they are not mutually exclusive either. I don't think I am a DORK (most of the time), but that's probably up to you people to decide.
Then there are the NERD/DORK/GEEKS who transcend these generalizations and dive so deeply into fantastical fictional worlds that it boggles the minds of even the nerdiest of nerds. You know who you are. The Trekkies, the Star Woids, the comic book guy from the Simpsons. I simply don't understand you people and your desires to own a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Mr. Spock. Klingon is not a real language.
But hey, whatever floats your boat. Who's to say I'm not weird. After all, I wanted to have a party celebrating the 50th anniversary of the discovery of the double-helical structure of DNA two years ago.
Currently reading: Margaret Atwood - The Handmaid's Tale
Currently playing: nothing. I'm at school.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Today's Topic: Slow on the Uptake
A slice of life presented to you on a plate of bitterness and served with a side of resentment of having been on a diet that is driving me insane. Disclaimer: these people are not to blame for their ignorance. I'm just mad that I haven't been eating enough chocolate. And hormones. I'm a girl. Gotta blame my hormones for something...
Person #1: What are your plans for Christmas Day?
Me: I'm going back home to America.
Person #1: When do you leave Japan?
Me: On Decemember 22nd.
Person #1: Oh, so you will spend Christmas Day at your home?
Me: Yes.
Person #1: You will be in America on Christmas Day?
Me: Yes.
Person #1: So you will spend Christmas Day at your home in America?
Me: Yes. [Wondering how many times one person can ask me the same question.]
Person #2: Is there really a Santa Claus in America?
Me: Uhhh, are you serious?
Student #1: I want to go to America someday to visit London.
Me: That will be impossible for you.
Student #1: I will try very hard and study English.
Me: London is in England which is in Europe.
Me: Please draw a picture.
Student #2: A picture?
Me: Yes, a picture.
Student #2: Draw?
Me: Yes, draw.
Student #2: Draw a picture?
Me: Yes, draw a picture.
Student #2: Oooohhhhh, DRAW a PICTURE!
Me: Yes, DRAW a PICTURE.
Me: Shall we play this game?
Teacher #1: Yes.
Me: Or shall we do this activity?
Teacher #1: Yes.
Me: No, you misunderstand. Shall we do this game OR this activity?
Teacher #1: Yes.
Me: What do you think of the rise in crimes in Japan?
Person #3: It's very bad.
Me: I agree. What do you think caused it?
Person #3: Foreigners.
So that I'm not discriminating against just Japanese people, let's take a walk down memory lane and revisit some of the stupid things my fellow Americans have said to me over the years. It's like a virus, infecting everyone and eating away at humanity.
Person from Wyoming: SO...WHERE...ARE...YOU...FROM...? (in veeeeeery slow English with lots of gestures)
Me: California.
Person from Wyoming: NO...WHERE...ARE...YOUR...ANCESTORS...FROM...?
Childhood bully #1: So what are you? Chinese?
Me: No.
Childhood bully #1: Japanese?
Me: No.
Childhood bully #1: Then what are you?! Mexican?!
Person from South Dakota: Konnichiwa!
Me: I'm not Japanese.
Person from South Dakota: Wow, you speak English real good!
Me: And you don't.
[brackets indicate spoken Korean]
Person from Korea: [I'm so jealous that you can speak English so well.]
Me: [Oh, it's only because I was born in America.]
Person from Korea: [You're so lucky because you can get a really good score on the TOEFL test.]
Me: [I don't have to take the TOEFL.]
Person from Korea: [Really? How come you don't have to take the TOEFL?]
Me: [Again, I was born in America. English is my native language.]
Person from Korea: [So you don't have to take the TOEFL. You are so lucky...]
Currently Reading: Jane Smiley - A Thousand Acres
Currently Playing: Hi Fives - In the Meantime, Please Don't Leave
A slice of life presented to you on a plate of bitterness and served with a side of resentment of having been on a diet that is driving me insane. Disclaimer: these people are not to blame for their ignorance. I'm just mad that I haven't been eating enough chocolate. And hormones. I'm a girl. Gotta blame my hormones for something...
Person #1: What are your plans for Christmas Day?
Me: I'm going back home to America.
Person #1: When do you leave Japan?
Me: On Decemember 22nd.
Person #1: Oh, so you will spend Christmas Day at your home?
Me: Yes.
Person #1: You will be in America on Christmas Day?
Me: Yes.
Person #1: So you will spend Christmas Day at your home in America?
Me: Yes. [Wondering how many times one person can ask me the same question.]
Person #2: Is there really a Santa Claus in America?
Me: Uhhh, are you serious?
Student #1: I want to go to America someday to visit London.
Me: That will be impossible for you.
Student #1: I will try very hard and study English.
Me: London is in England which is in Europe.
Me: Please draw a picture.
Student #2: A picture?
Me: Yes, a picture.
Student #2: Draw?
Me: Yes, draw.
Student #2: Draw a picture?
Me: Yes, draw a picture.
Student #2: Oooohhhhh, DRAW a PICTURE!
Me: Yes, DRAW a PICTURE.
Me: Shall we play this game?
Teacher #1: Yes.
Me: Or shall we do this activity?
Teacher #1: Yes.
Me: No, you misunderstand. Shall we do this game OR this activity?
Teacher #1: Yes.
Me: What do you think of the rise in crimes in Japan?
Person #3: It's very bad.
Me: I agree. What do you think caused it?
Person #3: Foreigners.
So that I'm not discriminating against just Japanese people, let's take a walk down memory lane and revisit some of the stupid things my fellow Americans have said to me over the years. It's like a virus, infecting everyone and eating away at humanity.
Person from Wyoming: SO...WHERE...ARE...YOU...FROM...? (in veeeeeery slow English with lots of gestures)
Me: California.
Person from Wyoming: NO...WHERE...ARE...YOUR...ANCESTORS...FROM...?
Childhood bully #1: So what are you? Chinese?
Me: No.
Childhood bully #1: Japanese?
Me: No.
Childhood bully #1: Then what are you?! Mexican?!
Person from South Dakota: Konnichiwa!
Me: I'm not Japanese.
Person from South Dakota: Wow, you speak English real good!
Me: And you don't.
[brackets indicate spoken Korean]
Person from Korea: [I'm so jealous that you can speak English so well.]
Me: [Oh, it's only because I was born in America.]
Person from Korea: [You're so lucky because you can get a really good score on the TOEFL test.]
Me: [I don't have to take the TOEFL.]
Person from Korea: [Really? How come you don't have to take the TOEFL?]
Me: [Again, I was born in America. English is my native language.]
Person from Korea: [So you don't have to take the TOEFL. You are so lucky...]
Currently Reading: Jane Smiley - A Thousand Acres
Currently Playing: Hi Fives - In the Meantime, Please Don't Leave
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