Ah, the funny things that my students write in their essays...
This is miso soup.
It is delicious.
Many people get eaten in Japan.
What is this?
It is made of fish and rice.
It is very famous in Japan.
Ms. Lee may have been eaten in Japan.
I want to become a massive teacher with confidence.
I want to be a doctor.
First, I want to help people.
Second, I want to change the future of Japan.
Many people are dying of terrible diseases in Japan because I want to be a doctor.
I want to be John Lennon in the future.
I want to be a pilot.
I like the sky.
I like to be high.
I like to be high in the sky.
So, if I'm not getting eaten in Japan (by Godzilla?), meeting massive teachers, dying of terrible diseases, or sitting in an airplane with a doped up pilot, I am teaching students whose English is good enough to get their point across, but not quite good enough to not be really funny. It keeps me going when I have to read 500 essays about someone wanting to become a nursery school teacher or a policeman.
child devil of tuna
Sunday, November 30, 2003
Monday, November 24, 2003
I am an anally punctual person living in an even more anally punctual society where all of my English-speaking friends are chronically running late.
The Japanese don't appreciate those who are "fashionably late."
The Japanese don't appreciate those who are "fashionably late."
Thursday, November 20, 2003
British-isms: Part III*
chuffed - (adj) to be pleased with something. (Example: I was quite chuffed when you said you could join us! Translation: I was really happy when you said you could come along!)
keen - (adj) to want to do something, to be interested in something. (Example: If you're keen, we should go to Nagoya. Translation: If you want, we should go to Nagoya.)
scunnered - (adj) totally and completely fed up with something.
tube - (noun) a jerk, "wanker." (Example: What a tube! Translation: Such a jerk!)
manky - (noun) yucky, old, gooey, gross. (Example: a manky tshirt. Translation: a nasty old tshirt)
skint - (adj) has no money. (Example: I'm skint this week. Translation: I am so broke this week.)
arse - (noun) ass. (Example: arse-hole. Translation: asshole.)
slapper - (noun) slut.
slag - (noun) slut.
muppet - (noun) stupid person. (Example: You're such a muppet! Translation: You're such a dip-shit!)
to get off with someone - (verb) to kiss someone.
winge - (verb) to complain, whine.
fringe - (noun) bangs. like for your hair.
prang - (noun) car accident.
pins - (noun) legs. (Example: She's got great pins!)
kegs - (noun) pants. Can mean both the British "pants" (underwear) or the American version of "pants." (Example: "I have plaid kegs" can mean "I have plaid underwear" OR "I have plaid pants/trousers.")
chemist - (noun) pharmacy.
sunnies - (noun) sunglasses.
full stop - (noun) period. like the punctuation mark. Seriously, the British say "I put a full stop at the end of the sentence" instead of "I put a period at the end of the sentence." Also, you can use it to give the sense of finality, just like how we use the word "period." For example, "I am absolutely NOT going. Period." In the UK: "I am absolutely NOT going. Full stop."
*For British-isms: Part II, see Tues. Sept. 16. For British-isms: Part I, see Wed. Aug. 20.
chuffed - (adj) to be pleased with something. (Example: I was quite chuffed when you said you could join us! Translation: I was really happy when you said you could come along!)
keen - (adj) to want to do something, to be interested in something. (Example: If you're keen, we should go to Nagoya. Translation: If you want, we should go to Nagoya.)
scunnered - (adj) totally and completely fed up with something.
tube - (noun) a jerk, "wanker." (Example: What a tube! Translation: Such a jerk!)
manky - (noun) yucky, old, gooey, gross. (Example: a manky tshirt. Translation: a nasty old tshirt)
skint - (adj) has no money. (Example: I'm skint this week. Translation: I am so broke this week.)
arse - (noun) ass. (Example: arse-hole. Translation: asshole.)
slapper - (noun) slut.
slag - (noun) slut.
muppet - (noun) stupid person. (Example: You're such a muppet! Translation: You're such a dip-shit!)
to get off with someone - (verb) to kiss someone.
winge - (verb) to complain, whine.
fringe - (noun) bangs. like for your hair.
prang - (noun) car accident.
pins - (noun) legs. (Example: She's got great pins!)
kegs - (noun) pants. Can mean both the British "pants" (underwear) or the American version of "pants." (Example: "I have plaid kegs" can mean "I have plaid underwear" OR "I have plaid pants/trousers.")
chemist - (noun) pharmacy.
sunnies - (noun) sunglasses.
full stop - (noun) period. like the punctuation mark. Seriously, the British say "I put a full stop at the end of the sentence" instead of "I put a period at the end of the sentence." Also, you can use it to give the sense of finality, just like how we use the word "period." For example, "I am absolutely NOT going. Period." In the UK: "I am absolutely NOT going. Full stop."
*For British-isms: Part II, see Tues. Sept. 16. For British-isms: Part I, see Wed. Aug. 20.
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
Monday, November 17, 2003
"Proximity breeds attraction."
And being in Japan also breeds the kind of desperation in which being able to speak English is the top (and at times, the only) priority.
And being in Japan also breeds the kind of desperation in which being able to speak English is the top (and at times, the only) priority.
Friday, November 14, 2003
I just finished reading the book Obasan by Joy Kogawa, which was about Japanese Canadians and how they were treated during WWII. Long story short, we treated our Japanese American citizens like saints in comparison to Canada. It was a good story, but I can't help feeling a little desensitized to stories of asian tragedy. It seems that every "good" asian story is tragic. Otherwise, it's not accurately portraying our heritage or something. I mean, I love authors like Amy Tan to death, but my God. I'm also sick of reading the same story over and over again. I think I could write my own novel, having done so much first hand research...
In my asian tragedy, someone dies. The mother of the narrator of my story commits suicide after having to suffer a lifetime of pain at the hands of an abusive husband and a spoiled ungrateful son. A father figure or an older brother is enslaved by the army of the oppressor and forced to perform humiliating acts before getting shot to death. In the back. A mother drowns her own child, the bastard with no father because the father, who was an American soldier, ditched his mistress as soon as the war was over. Oh yeah, and then she commits suicide, too. Or something like that.
And I would need to somehow incorporate the "asians growing up in a foreign country" aspect. Stories of asian women caught in a dangerous limbo between the traditions of their mother country and the wild, unrestrained pleasures of the "western" nation in which they live. My heroine would fall in love with a white man and of course the hyper-asian parents who don't approve of him because he's white and despite that fact that their daughter loves him, they will be trying to hook her up with the "nice asian boy that lives down the street." Yeah, the skinny boring one who studied computer science or electrical engineering (or if you're a Cal student, EECS). But of course, the girl, having been fed western ideas of love (not duty), will elope with the gaijin man, forever shaming her parents and sullying the respectful Wong clan.
And I can't forget the generous aiya! helpings of asian interjections interspersed aigoo! throughout the text to give it a more banzai! authentic flair. Ii na?
For the finishing touch, I would have to give my asian tragedy a suitable title. Filled with words like "sorrow" and references to horoscopes or pagan dieties or a white crane. Or I can go the whole nine yards and throw in really "ethnic" sounding words in half-engrish. Some asian books written by asian people that I've read for title examples:
The Joy-Luck Club
The Kitchen God's Wife
The Year of Last Goodbyes
The Year of the Boar
10,000 Sorrows
Obasan
etc etc... if my career as a teacher or a scientist fails, then I will pursue my calling as a writer of asian tragedies. It's my calling...
In my asian tragedy, someone dies. The mother of the narrator of my story commits suicide after having to suffer a lifetime of pain at the hands of an abusive husband and a spoiled ungrateful son. A father figure or an older brother is enslaved by the army of the oppressor and forced to perform humiliating acts before getting shot to death. In the back. A mother drowns her own child, the bastard with no father because the father, who was an American soldier, ditched his mistress as soon as the war was over. Oh yeah, and then she commits suicide, too. Or something like that.
And I would need to somehow incorporate the "asians growing up in a foreign country" aspect. Stories of asian women caught in a dangerous limbo between the traditions of their mother country and the wild, unrestrained pleasures of the "western" nation in which they live. My heroine would fall in love with a white man and of course the hyper-asian parents who don't approve of him because he's white and despite that fact that their daughter loves him, they will be trying to hook her up with the "nice asian boy that lives down the street." Yeah, the skinny boring one who studied computer science or electrical engineering (or if you're a Cal student, EECS). But of course, the girl, having been fed western ideas of love (not duty), will elope with the gaijin man, forever shaming her parents and sullying the respectful Wong clan.
And I can't forget the generous aiya! helpings of asian interjections interspersed aigoo! throughout the text to give it a more banzai! authentic flair. Ii na?
For the finishing touch, I would have to give my asian tragedy a suitable title. Filled with words like "sorrow" and references to horoscopes or pagan dieties or a white crane. Or I can go the whole nine yards and throw in really "ethnic" sounding words in half-engrish. Some asian books written by asian people that I've read for title examples:
The Joy-Luck Club
The Kitchen God's Wife
The Year of Last Goodbyes
The Year of the Boar
10,000 Sorrows
Obasan
etc etc... if my career as a teacher or a scientist fails, then I will pursue my calling as a writer of asian tragedies. It's my calling...
Friday, November 07, 2003
Thursday, November 06, 2003
"The time comes when he must go. . . There are no tears and no touch. They are careful, as he goes, not to weight his pack with their sorrow."
We all have to leave home sometime, whether it's just down the street from the house we grew up in, or clear across the ocean to another country. I know that I don't plan on staying here forever, but that doesn't stop me from occasionally finding myself mired in nostalgia. Don't mind me; it's been a long week. Natsukashii ne?
We all have to leave home sometime, whether it's just down the street from the house we grew up in, or clear across the ocean to another country. I know that I don't plan on staying here forever, but that doesn't stop me from occasionally finding myself mired in nostalgia. Don't mind me; it's been a long week. Natsukashii ne?
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
So, I've officially reached my three-month mark. And what do I have to show for the ~100 days that I've spent here? Nothing much except that Japan is a very liveable place. It's definitely DIFFERENT from the States, and to some, that might translate to weird and really really foreign, but to me, different just means different. I don't find it particularly difficult to adjust and I'm not finding myself having a hard time just getting through an ordinary day.
That does not, however, mean that living here is as easy as pie. As with almost every other Westerner who comes to live in Japan, I came here with this idea of how Japan would be. These preconceptions were probably very stereotypical of me, but hey... all of you are guilty of it. I pictured modern cities that were spotlessly clean. Not a scrap of garbage or a wad of pre-chewed gum to be found amongst the immaculately pruned hedges. And orderly population donning black three-piece business suits, practically marching to work, swinging their briefcases in unison. School students in uniform, bowing respectfully to teachers and elders as they walked pass. Classrooms filled with the same eager, hard-working students...
And I hate to burst your bubbles, but that is not what you will find here. Japan is a country which in some respects is very modern and advanced (sometimes, ridiculously so) but on the other hand, is very very backwards and it just boggles my mind. And I find that the situation is made worse by the fact that I'm a female.
Women in this country are still viewed as second class citizens. I have yet to see a woman in a business suit going to work among her male colleagues. In schools, female teachers have a MUCH harder time maintaining order in the classroom because students are less likely to listen to a woman than a man. The male teachers I have to work with don't listen to me or take my opinion seriously. When we have office parties, none of the women drink any alcohol while the men get blind-stinking drunk (usually after only 2 beers or something lame like that).
And if a young woman who has a career gets pregnant, she is obligated to stay at home and be a housewife. I have met so many Japanese families where the woman stays at home ALL DAY and cleans and cooks. No kidding. I don't like going to Japanese houses because I'm afraid to touch stuff and get fingerprints on everything. And some subtle things you'd never notice if you were just "passing through" the country, is that tea mugs, sold in sets of two, always have one small one (for the woman) and one large one. Japanese married couples do not sleep in the same bed. Rather, they have two separate beds. One is low to the ground (for the woman) and the other is high off the ground and closest to the door (for the man of the house). And I could go into way more stuff.... but I won't for the sake of saving you some reading time. To me, it's ridiculous to think that Japan, considered to be a modern, first-world country, STILL upholds, and in some cases embraces, these partriarchal notions.
When I ask my female students what they want to be when they grow up, they have no clue. College? Maybe. Marriage and children? Of course!! What more could they want in life than to be a good mother and an obedient wife? When I get asked what I studied in college, everyone is surprised that I studied molecular biology. Women just don't study that. And when I tell them I might go to grad school, the first thing they ask is what for? And some typical dialogue that occurs during every single Q&A session that follows every single self introductions that I have given:
student: Sensei, are you married?
me: No, I'm not.
different student: Do you have a boyfriend?
me: No, I don't.
another student: Don't you want a boyfriend?
Maybe I should wear a sign that says "I am a social leper and a useless woman because I do not have a man to wait on hand and foot." That'll show them...
That does not, however, mean that living here is as easy as pie. As with almost every other Westerner who comes to live in Japan, I came here with this idea of how Japan would be. These preconceptions were probably very stereotypical of me, but hey... all of you are guilty of it. I pictured modern cities that were spotlessly clean. Not a scrap of garbage or a wad of pre-chewed gum to be found amongst the immaculately pruned hedges. And orderly population donning black three-piece business suits, practically marching to work, swinging their briefcases in unison. School students in uniform, bowing respectfully to teachers and elders as they walked pass. Classrooms filled with the same eager, hard-working students...
And I hate to burst your bubbles, but that is not what you will find here. Japan is a country which in some respects is very modern and advanced (sometimes, ridiculously so) but on the other hand, is very very backwards and it just boggles my mind. And I find that the situation is made worse by the fact that I'm a female.
Women in this country are still viewed as second class citizens. I have yet to see a woman in a business suit going to work among her male colleagues. In schools, female teachers have a MUCH harder time maintaining order in the classroom because students are less likely to listen to a woman than a man. The male teachers I have to work with don't listen to me or take my opinion seriously. When we have office parties, none of the women drink any alcohol while the men get blind-stinking drunk (usually after only 2 beers or something lame like that).
And if a young woman who has a career gets pregnant, she is obligated to stay at home and be a housewife. I have met so many Japanese families where the woman stays at home ALL DAY and cleans and cooks. No kidding. I don't like going to Japanese houses because I'm afraid to touch stuff and get fingerprints on everything. And some subtle things you'd never notice if you were just "passing through" the country, is that tea mugs, sold in sets of two, always have one small one (for the woman) and one large one. Japanese married couples do not sleep in the same bed. Rather, they have two separate beds. One is low to the ground (for the woman) and the other is high off the ground and closest to the door (for the man of the house). And I could go into way more stuff.... but I won't for the sake of saving you some reading time. To me, it's ridiculous to think that Japan, considered to be a modern, first-world country, STILL upholds, and in some cases embraces, these partriarchal notions.
When I ask my female students what they want to be when they grow up, they have no clue. College? Maybe. Marriage and children? Of course!! What more could they want in life than to be a good mother and an obedient wife? When I get asked what I studied in college, everyone is surprised that I studied molecular biology. Women just don't study that. And when I tell them I might go to grad school, the first thing they ask is what for? And some typical dialogue that occurs during every single Q&A session that follows every single self introductions that I have given:
student: Sensei, are you married?
me: No, I'm not.
different student: Do you have a boyfriend?
me: No, I don't.
another student: Don't you want a boyfriend?
Maybe I should wear a sign that says "I am a social leper and a useless woman because I do not have a man to wait on hand and foot." That'll show them...
Monday, November 03, 2003
We had unusually warm weather this weekend. Translation: mosquitoes were back with a vengeance. I can actually trace a line on my left arm, connecting 5 itchy red bumps, where one lucky bastard (and possibly a host of his friends) apparently had an all-night smorgasbord. And then there's the one on my right elbow. And the one on my left ankle. And the one on my neck.... It's a good thing Japanese mosquitoes aren't malarial or carry dengue fever or anything because otherwise, I'd be dead.
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