child devil of tuna: 07/01/2003

Thursday, July 31, 2003

I've spent the last few days in Berkeley and those days, like the rest of my summer, have whizzed by and I leave for Japan in about 42 hours. While I'm physically prepared for my trip--the bags are packed, I've read the pre-departure handbook, and my laptop carries an impressive arsenal including 7.5 gigs of Spongebob episodes--I am feeling a weird mish-mosh of mixed emotions. On one hand, I'm excited at the prospect of moving to a new country and living entirely on my own for the first time while working my first real job. On the other hand, I don't feel ready quite yet to take such a big leap. But you all know this already. For weeks now, I've probably complained to all of you at one point or another. If I was bothersome, I apologize. But you know what? You don't have to listen to that for much longer. I'm going to say "bye" for now, especially since I probably won't have an internet connection for a while. To all of you lovely people, take care. Enjoy the rest of your summers. And if you get really really bored, send me a letter via snail-mail:

Grace Lee
A101 Sund Heights
2533 Harima, Kuwana-Shi
Mie-Ken 511-0862
Japan

Ja, mata! Minna, sayonara!

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

I love food.
I love eating.
I love eating so much that it's ever so slightly uncomfortable to yawn, or laugh too hard, or bend over to tie your shoes. Enough so that the owner of the restaurant pokes fun at you and your friend for consuming nearly double what people like you normally do. Enough so that you induce that good kind of food coma that makes you feel all relaxed and warm inside. Enough so that when you go home, you can just fall asleep on a comfortable bed and wake up not feeling famished.

Mind you, it's not good to eat until the point where your stomach aches and the food stops tasting good, because you just feel gross afterward.

So where, you might ask, did I go last night? I went to the Indonesian restaurant, Jakarta, in San Francisco. For you East Bay residents, take the BART, get off at Montgomery station, take the 38 or 38L Muni (at Market and Montgomery) and get off at Geary and 6th. Walk two blocks south to Balboa, and walk a block west. You should be able to see it. Bon Apetit!

Friday, July 25, 2003

Now featuring, the wise words of Eva Chu:

Eva: it's more fun doing it with a buddy
Eva: it gets kinda lonely doing it by yourself

No, no no, it's not that. She's talking about studying for the LSAT's.

Ahh, gotta love little brothers. I bought a pair of pants yesterday and I asked my brother for his honest opinion, and that is EXACTLY what I got.

If you're having trouble reading the text, it goes like this:

Me: Hey Bryan. Do these pants make my butt look big?
Bryan: No. The pants are fine. Your butt makes your butt look big. Move.... I'm trying to watch TV...

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Dude, why does everyone think I'm a NERD? Thanks, Eva, for backing me up. You want to hear a really NERDY resonse? Fine. Here goes:

Champagne, Midori Sours, Wine, Tequila--whatever may be your poison of choice, all alcoholic beverages contain ethanol. Ethanol is a toxin that can compromise the basic functions of your nervous system when taken in large quantities (ie drunkenness) which is caused by the neuron's inability to pump calcium ions back into the cell, disrupting the electrochemical balance that is necessary for the conduction of nerve impulses. The body produces an enzyme, alcohol dehydrogenase, which converts alcohol into acetaldehyde (which is more toxic then ethanol). Another enzyme then quickly converts the acetaldeyde into acetic acid (which is the compound that gives vinegar its sour taste) which can be further metabolized by the body or flushed out of the body entirely via the urine.

Ethanol also blocks the production of your body's antidiuretic hormone, which works directly on your kidneys. Normally, water which is filtered by the kidney is reabsorbed thanks to the action of the hormone (and smart-ass comments will only cause me to go into a detailed accounts on the function of each nephron in your kidneys!). And also thanks to this hormone, we don't have to get up and pee 800 times a day. Your kidneys can filter up to 180L of water a day and we usually excrete less than a liter. Too much ethanol prevents the production of antidiruetic hormone which then leads to your kidney's inability to reabsorb the water. That is why there are always long lines to the bathrooms in bars.

So that brings us to the question: BEST HANGOVER CURE?

Ethanol causes hangovers in two ways: by the production of toxic acetaldehyde and by dehydration. Therefore, drink LOTS of water to 1) flush the acetaldeyde out of your system and 2) replenish the lost water. Number 2 is very important.

Now you know.

And some random tidbits of alcohol-related info:

Methanol (ie rubbing alcohol) is very similar in structure to ethanol. However, drinking your bottle of rubbing alcohol can have severe consequences. Methanol is converted to formaldehyde by the enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase. And yes, formaldehyde is the same stuff they used to preserve those fetal piggies you disected in your biology class. If you don't want to pickle your insides, leave that stuff alone.

Many asian people have a mutated form of the gene which encodes alcohol dehydrogenase, thus producing an ineffective form of the enzyme. This leads to a lower tolerance for alcohol (since their bodies can't break down the ethanol) and causes the characteristic "asian flush."

The alcohol dehydrogenase of women is less effective than the male counterpart and thus, women tend to get drunk faster than men. AKA "cheap date" phenomenon.

Monday, July 14, 2003

Remember back in the day (recent grads, think back to freshman year), when email surveys were the shit? I found a bunch while cleaning out my Hotmail account. Let's take a stroll down Memory Lane. That, and I'm bored. I'm waiting for my laundry to dry. Oh, and I've taken the liberty to update some of my more out-dated answers.

From: haushinka18@hotmail.com
To: blogreader@blogspot.com
Subject: Fwd: Fun Survey Thingie!

NAME: Grace Jungeun Lee
D.O.B. 2-9-81
HEIGHT: 5'5"
EYE COLOR: Brown
HAIR COLOR: Black
LIVING ARRANGEMENT: Currently: Room in my parent's house. In two weeks: an apartment in Tsu-city of Mie-ken in Japan.
YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? These surveys are OLD. We don't use mousepads anymore... OPTICAL MOUSE.
FAVORITE MAGAZINE: Cosmo, baby! It's so scandalous! ummm, I mean, Scientific American...
FAVORITE COLOR: Red
FAVORITE SMELLS: Right after a heavy rain, when it smells fresh and clean. Not after a light rain. Then it just smells all musty and gross.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Moving somewhere else just as soon as you were getting comfortable in your current location. I seem to be doing this a lot lately. Left Berkeley and now I'm leaving the entire country.
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Explaining something to someone and having them understand. Any more questions, Ladies of DNLF? I really like that expression of "Oh yeah! I totally get it now!" Which is why I'm considering a career in teaching. We'll see how that goes.
FAVORITE SONG: "Paperlanterns" by Green Day
FUTURE SON'S NAME: I don't know. At this moment in time, I don't want kids. But I tend to go back and forth on that one, depending on how many bratty little punk-ass kiddies I've run into in recent history.
FUTURE DAUGHTER'S NAME: See above.
FAVORITE FOOD: Korean (duh) and Italian.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: Vanilla.
FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR: Hagen Dazs Brownie Caramel Swirl. But it got discontinued. =( So usually anything vanilla with caramel. Or strawberry.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? Not really, but I'm getting better about it.
STORMS-COOL OR SCARY: Cool. As long as I can remain dry.
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? Never owned one before. But currently, I drive a 2002 Nissan Sentra.
YOUR FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Midori Sour or Sex on the Beach.
HANGOVER CURE: Drink lots of water. Hangovers are caused by dehydraton (alcohol is a diuretic).
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Aquarius.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK? Ender's Game and Speaker for the Dead.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Comic book artist (I've got a LOT of practicing to do!). Realistically, I would like to teach biology at a small college. Better get cracking on that PhD thing.
IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? Usually half full.
FAVORITE MOVIE: Fight Club.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Yes. I'd hate to think of the poor sad person who had to type out this entire survey using three fingers.
IF YOU COULD BE ANY CARTOON CHARACTER WHO WOULD YOU BE? Spongebob. I'm goofy and naive like him. Although, I don't have a yellow porous body and I don't wear square pants.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Dust bunnies and carpet. And storage boxes filled with paints, brushes, extra canvases, old posters, photos, etc. etc...
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 18
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? BMW Z4. Now once I get this automatic thing down, someone needs to teach me to drive stick so that I can drive this car.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? In person: Cal Football, Cal Hockey, Cal Basketball... you get it. GO BEARS!! On TV: Golf with my dad.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT TO PARTICIPATE IN? I used to play basketball. But I'd rather swim.
THERE SHOULD BE NO SUCH THING AS: Bushes. Not the shrubs. They give us oxygen. I'm taking about the politicians.
I HAVE HEARD ENOUGH OF: Weapons of mass destruction. See? They don't exist anywhere except in the United States.
I ADVISE MY FRIENDS TO: Live it up and remember to eat lots of dessert. It's good for the soul. Oh yeah, and come visit me in Japan. I promise it'll be fun!
I ADVISE MY FRIENDS NOT TO: write a senior thesis if you can avoid it.

Friday, July 11, 2003

I have censored AIM conversation #1 (July 6th entry) in order to protect the identities of the two closet bitches in question. Don't ask for any names. I won't disclose any further information. =P

Thursday, July 10, 2003

Today's Subject: The Quest for an (Almost) American Idol

Background: My mom is surprisingly hip to the American (as well as Korean) pop music scene. She owns Backstreet Boys and Christina Aguilera albums but she's not too keen on N-Sync or Britany Spears. She hears about new groups before I do and she likes to watch the Asian MTV Video Music Awards. She wanted to follow American Idol, but couldn't due to her work schedule. So today, she asked me to go look for Clay Aiken's single. Not Ruben's. Only Clay's would do.

So begins my quest. I though, this should be simple enough. In Hawaii, Clay's CD's were everywhere. I could practically buy them at the local drug store. But I underestimated the consumers of Santa Clarita...

First stop: Best Buy. I looked up and down the aisles before I finally gave in and asked for help. I was told that they had been sold out for weeks. OK. No sweat (in spite of the blistering heat of the desert sun).

Second Attempt: Target. Despite having a plethora of delectable goods at affordable prices, they fail to deliver me my (Almost) American Idol.

Third Time's the Charm? Circuit City. Only Ruben. Game over, try again.

Last Chance: Wal-Mart. Every OTHER American Idol CD can be found here, including something like 5 dozen of Ruben's CD's.

Conclusion: Based on record sales alone, Clay should have won the competition. Dude, I voted for him.

Sunday, July 06, 2003

Because I don't feel creative, I will allow you faithful reader(s) to indulge in the wittiness of my friends. Here are a bunch of cut and pasted AIM conversations:

Closet Bitch #1: it's hard being a closet bitch
Closet Bitch #1: i'm tired of hiding behind closed doors
Closet Bitch #2: i know
Closet Bitch #2: i have to do all these things i don't want to do
Closet Bitch #1: i wanna jump out and say, "HELLO WORLD!! I AM A BITCH!"
Closet Bitch #2: now if i were just a plain cold-hearted bitch
Closet Bitch #2: i could do whatever i wanted
Closet Bitch #2: and not feel bad about it

Jeff: hey do me a favor and bring me back a mitsubishi lancer evolution IV when you come back from japan
Jeff: they should be pretty cheap over there
Grace: i could just pack that up in my carry-on suitcase
Grace: no problem
Jeff: to make it a little easier on you, i will also accept a nissan skyline
Jeff: because i'm such a good friend and all
Grace: haha. i'll see what i can do
Jeff: thanks... as long as it's not too much trouble of course. oh by the way, BLACK
Grace: ok. let me write this all down
Grace: don't want to forget
Jeff: thanks... i normally wouldn't ask a favor like that but it's just that i've always had this dream of going 100+ miles per hour on the side of a cliff in a cheaply-made small japanese car
Jeff: a dangerously fragile yet blindingly fast compact car

Eva: do you know what iMesh is?
Grace: it was a downloading program
Grace: you probably downloaded it after they killed napster in the dorms
Grace: delete it
Eva: alright!
Eva: i'm on a roll
Eva: i love deleting stuff from my computer
Eva: it's like taking a big poo

My brother's away message: I'm single-handedly trying to free the world of hunger, starting with myself.

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

Date: Monday, July 28
Time: 2:40 pm
Place: Oakland Airport

Which means I'll be in Berkeley by 4pm at the latest!!! Keep your schedules open because I'm coming up to Northern Cali for 3 fun-filled days before I head off to Japan! I won't be coming back to the states for at least a year, so make sure to come and see me... I don't want to miss any of you guys!

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

I got into a little tiff with my brother's friend who was driving in the middle of the road near my house. I nearly had to pull over in order to not get in his way. If there were any cars parked on the side of the street, I would have hit them.

my brother's friend: i'm an excellent driver
my brother's friend: now i'm not racist or sexist, but studies have shown that women are worse drivers than men, and it's a well known fact that asians are not the best drivers. of course thats a stereotype, but under every stereotype lies some truth. well guess what? you are a female asian and i am a white male.
heliozoan chan: and then i will be a doctor and when you come crawling to me because some ASIAN FEMALE rammed your car and you are in intensive care, your life will be in my hands.

child devil of tuna