child devil of tuna

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod...

Edinburgh: ACCEPTED!
Manchester: ACCEPTED!!!!!!!
Cambridge: ??
Leeds: ??
IC: ??

Just finished phone interview with Dr Philip Woodman from Manchester U. Man, I'm so wired now!!!!

Currently playing: Spongebob Squarepants video
Currently reading: nothing. too jittery at the moment.

posted by Grace @ 1/31/2005 06:24:00 AM 0 comments

Overdue blog entry. Long story short, I’ve done way too much snowboarding, teaching, speaking at meetings/conferences (none of it voluntary), internet shopping (with little to show for it), reading my genetics textbook, and stressing over the imminent grad school phone interview (which hasn’t happened yet, for whatever reasons). This weekend promises to be relatively stress-free (mostly because I have no money to spend; therefore, I can’t go anywhere or go shopping or anything) and I have no plans to do anything except sleep in (HOORAY!), cook, eat, watch rented movies, and wish I were doing something more constructive but not actually doing it.

My weekend has already officially started (the powers that be scheduled me for 4 or 5 classes a day all week but only 1 for today!) and I’m sitting in the teacher’s room ripping my CD’s into mp3’s. Three cheers for constructive usage of my time!

The bad thing about having all of this free time is that my mind tends to wander and today, between tracks 12 and 13 of Beck’s Odelay, it wandered into the self-pitying realms of the dateless wonder that is my life in Japan. The sad thing is that not only have I been dateless for what seems like an eternity, there are not even any potentials out there for me to swoon over or stalk via the internet. My faithful readers already know what I’m talking about. Fortunately for me, I’m usually too busy in Japan to worry about the single-ness of my life so instead of wallowing, let’s take a walk down memory lane and look at all of the “winning potentials” of the past that have made some obliquely (and sometimes overtly) sexual comments and have kept me from falling into the “I’m so ugly I hate myself” cycle that sucks in so many foreign women living in Japan.

Foreigner #1: Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice that your English is very good.
Me: Oh, really?
Foreigner #1: How long have you been learning English?
Me: About 23 years now.
Foreigner #1: Wow, that’s a long time.
Me: I’m actually American.

Drunken Old Japanese Man: You have long legs.
Me: (And you have really slurred speech. Lay of the sake, loser. It’s 3pm on a Tuesday. Go home to your wife.)

Mentally Handicapped Man #1: You’re cute.
Me: Uh… (How to get out of this situation without hurting this poor man’s feelings?).
Mentally Handicapped Man #1: Do you want to have dinner with me?
Me: I’m sorry, I don’t speak Japanese.

Mentally Handicapped Man #2: You’re pretty.
Me: Um, thanks… (Same thought as above. I seem to have a real knack for attracting the oddballs)
Mentally Handicapped Man #2: Shall we go drink tea? <--This is the quintessential Japanese pick-up line, equivalent to “Baby, you’d look great on my yacht.”
Me: I’m sorry, I don’t speak Japanese.

Nigerian Man #1: (In Japanese) What is your name?
Me: I don’t speak Japanese.
Nigerian Man #1: You speak English? I am a student in Nagoya.
Me: Oh, really? (Right, Mr. Blood-Shot Eyes Drug Dealer)
Nigerian Man #2: Can I have your phone number?
Me: How about you give me yours and I’ll call you… Oh, look, it’s my train stop. It was nice meeting you. (Makes a run for it)

Foreigner #2: You have an ass like a black girl.
Me: WTF??!

Brazilian Boy #1: You are lonely. I am lonely.
Me: Actually, I’m looking for my friends…
Brazilian Boy #1: Can I kiss you?
Me: Actually… NO. (Where is my support network when I need them for their sleaze-ball repelling properties?)

Brazilian Boy #2: You have a nice shape.
Me: Oh, thanks, I guess. (And I also have a nicely shaped boot that would be perfect for KICKING YOUR ASS)

Nigerian Man #2: Why you never call me?
Me: Do I know you?
Nigerian Man #2: Here, let me have your phone number and I will call you.
Me: Oh, look, it’s my train stop. I have to go. (Makes a run for it)

I like to think that I have standards and drunken old Japanese men, slimy Brazilians, arrogant foreigners, and bread mold fall under those standards. So in the meantime, I will enjoy quality time with my girls here in Japan and fill my downtime with stalking some of my exes via the internet. Hopefully, I don’t become too desperate. I noticed the effects of my Japan-goggles when I went home for the holidays (so many cute boys in California!). You all thought Berkeley-goggles were bad…

And because this was such a text-heavy entry, I’ll give you some bad-for-the-eyes eye-candy. Feast your ocular organs on the Fish of the Week from my local grocery store. Can someone tell me, why on EARTH are they so red?


Currently Reading: Michael Moore – Stupid White Men
Currently Playing: about 34,092 different mp3’s

posted by Grace @ 1/28/2005 01:46:00 AM 0 comments

Guess who's going to the UK?

Edinburgh: ACCEPTED!!
Manchester: interview pending (later today... ARGH!)
Cambridge: ???
Leeds: ???
IC: ???

Sorry for the lack of posts. I'm exhausted and stressed. I promise to elaborate. For now, it's 6:50 a.m. Japan-time and I need to get ready to go to work.

Currently Reading: Kitchen Confidential - Anthony Bourdain
Currently Playing: No Doubt - Hella Good

posted by Grace @ 1/25/2005 01:45:00 PM 0 comments

Mexican meals consumed: 5
In-and-Out burgers consumed: 3
Gallons of kim-chi consumed: numerous
Grad school applications completed: all of them (YAY!)
Pairs of shoes bought: 1 (Hooray!! Good self-control!)
DVD's bought: 8 (oh dear)
Super-cool but unneccessry electronic goods bought: 2 (shame on me)
Number of Rice Crispies treats bought as gifts for Japanese people: 160

I am back in Japan and battling jet-lag. But luckily for me, I head off for Niigata-ken in only 3 hours and there is no better way for curing the back-in-Japan blues and sleep-depreviation than going snowboarding for 3 fun-filled days! Better blog entry when I get back. Next topic: Cleaning Out My Room and Rediscovering the Fashion Blunders of my Youth.

Currently Playing: The Donnas - Gold Medal
Currently Reading: Michael Crichton - Prey

posted by Grace @ 1/06/2005 10:17:00 PM 0 comments