So, I've officially reached my three-month mark. And what do I have to show for the ~100 days that I've spent here? Nothing much except that Japan is a very liveable place. It's definitely DIFFERENT from the States, and to some, that might translate to weird and really really foreign, but to me, different just means different. I don't find it particularly difficult to adjust and I'm not finding myself having a hard time just getting through an ordinary day.
That does not, however, mean that living here is as easy as pie. As with almost every other Westerner who comes to live in Japan, I came here with this idea of how Japan would be. These preconceptions were probably very stereotypical of me, but hey... all of you are guilty of it. I pictured modern cities that were spotlessly clean. Not a scrap of garbage or a wad of pre-chewed gum to be found amongst the immaculately pruned hedges. And orderly population donning black three-piece business suits, practically marching to work, swinging their briefcases in unison. School students in uniform, bowing respectfully to teachers and elders as they walked pass. Classrooms filled with the same eager, hard-working students...
And I hate to burst your bubbles, but that is not what you will find here. Japan is a country which in some respects is very modern and advanced (sometimes, ridiculously so) but on the other hand, is very very backwards and it just boggles my mind. And I find that the situation is made worse by the fact that I'm a female.
Women in this country are still viewed as second class citizens. I have yet to see a woman in a business suit going to work among her male colleagues. In schools, female teachers have a MUCH harder time maintaining order in the classroom because students are less likely to listen to a woman than a man. The male teachers I have to work with don't listen to me or take my opinion seriously. When we have office parties, none of the women drink any alcohol while the men get blind-stinking drunk (usually after only 2 beers or something lame like that).
And if a young woman who has a career gets pregnant, she is obligated to stay at home and be a housewife. I have met so many Japanese families where the woman stays at home ALL DAY and cleans and cooks. No kidding. I don't like going to Japanese houses because I'm afraid to touch stuff and get fingerprints on everything. And some subtle things you'd never notice if you were just "passing through" the country, is that tea mugs, sold in sets of two, always have one small one (for the woman) and one large one. Japanese married couples do not sleep in the same bed. Rather, they have two separate beds. One is low to the ground (for the woman) and the other is high off the ground and closest to the door (for the man of the house). And I could go into way more stuff.... but I won't for the sake of saving you some reading time. To me, it's ridiculous to think that Japan, considered to be a modern, first-world country, STILL upholds, and in some cases embraces, these partriarchal notions.
When I ask my female students what they want to be when they grow up, they have no clue. College? Maybe. Marriage and children? Of course!! What more could they want in life than to be a good mother and an obedient wife? When I get asked what I studied in college, everyone is surprised that I studied molecular biology. Women just don't study that. And when I tell them I might go to grad school, the first thing they ask is what for? And some typical dialogue that occurs during every single Q&A session that follows every single self introductions that I have given:
student: Sensei, are you married?
me: No, I'm not.
different student: Do you have a boyfriend?
me: No, I don't.
another student: Don't you want a boyfriend?
Maybe I should wear a sign that says "I am a social leper and a useless woman because I do not have a man to wait on hand and foot." That'll show them...
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