In the States, popularity in school can be achieved through a variety of different ways: fashion sense (which is highly dependent on the shallowness or the disposable income of the parents), athletic prowess, cheerleader status, or the politics of student government. Duh.
However, Japan is a different story. Japanese schools have a strict(ish) uniform policy, so that kills the fashion factor. Besides, all Japanese people blindly follow the latest trends, so there is hardly anyone who doesn't already dress/accessorize excatly like the person sitting next to them. Athletic prowess is also not as important a determining factor, since almost every student in junior high and high school is required to participate in school-sponsored sports clubs. There are no cheerleaders in Japan. Moving on. Student government is not nearly as important to the school-based social lives of students here when compared to the popularity contest circus (to which all ASB elections ultimately devolve) in the States. This all leads me to wonder, what exactly is the grease that oils the cogs of the Japanese popularity contest?
I have finally cracked the code and I call it "Grace's Theorem":
The level of popularity of a Japanese junior high school student is DIRECTLY proportional the severity of said student's Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (A.D.H.D.).
Case in point: Let's take a look at Aki-chan, who is arguably the most popular girl at Seitoku Junior High School, despite only being a second year student. I can't stand her. She needs medication. She's also dumb as a rock because she can't sit in a classroom for more than 5 minutes at a time and spends the rest of the time running from classroom to classroom. She likes to ask "what are we doing right now?" and in the middle of my response, she'll get up and leave the room, only to return 10 minutes later and start that all over again. Not to mention, she spends half of the day walking up and down the hallways, kicking the walls, and screaming at the top of her lungs. Her footprints can be found all over every single wall on every floor of the main building. Does anyone do anything about her? Of course not. That's not the Japanese way.
Case Study #2: Daichi-kun, the most popular 3rd year student. He's bad at sports, bad at school, and has a bad-ass monster-mullet which rivals that of MacGuyver's. He's just as annoying as Aki-chan, but to make things worse, he likes to pick fights, has violent mood swings, and thinks it's really funny to pretend to fall asleep in the back of class and call himself on his cell phone and not answer it. If I were in charge, I would take his phone and chuck it out the 4th-story window.
Nut Bag #3: Kazuya-kun, 2nd most popular 3rd year student. He's like the previous two, but with one very "special" difference: he can't stop talking about masturbating. He also runs up and down the halls screaming. But he's usually screaming things like "BIG DICK!!" and "FUCK YOU!" instead of just straight up incoherent yelling (like Aki-chan).
I like teaching most of the time, but I would prefer it if the teachers here would acknowledge the fact that some students cannot be left to do whatever they please. Not only does it make MY job hard, it noticeably distresses the other students. The homeroom classes of those 3 students happen to also be my three worst classes at that particular school. Surprise surprise, it doesn't take a genius to figure stuff like that out.
Currently reading: Us Magazine (thanks Shan!)
Currently playing: Pizzicato Five - International Pizzicato Five Mansion
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home