Tuesday, February 15, 2005

The things I have to put up with in my job... During class today, one of my students punched me. He didn't actually mean to hit me; he was trying to DECK the Japanese teacher that I was team-teaching with and I got in the way. Silly me, I'll make sure to stay out of the way next time.

But that's not the main point of the blog entry. Today's entry will focus on my optimistic outlook on life. Basically, I've decided that if I were a cave-person, I'd be DEAD.

Physical traits that most certainly point to death for Cave-Woman-Grace:

1) I'm blind as a bat. Even a lame 2-legged saber-toothed tiger would have been able to sneak up on me and make me lunch.

2) I have the world's weakest teeth. If I had somehow managed to outsmart the tiger and survive to a mature 13 years of age or so, I would still end up starving to death because all of my teeth would have rotted out of my head and I wouldn't have been able to chew nasty cave-person food which is probably full of rocks and sand anyway.

Physical traits that appear to favor survival for Cave-Woman-Grace but upon careful thought, do not actually do a damn thing:

1) I am a fast sprinter. Yes, I could OUTRUN said saber-toothed tiger, but you forget that I am still as blind as a bat. I'd probably step into a gopher hole, break my ankle, and end up McGrace Nuggets anyway.

2) I am smart. But not really smart enough to invent a car, or explosives, or projectile weapons with which to protect myself from the carnivorous beasts of cave-man times.

My conclusion: I am glad that I am not a cave-woman and that I live in more civilized society where people smarter than me have already invented stuff that make my life easier (yay for contact lenses and dentures) and I am still smart enough to get a decent job. What spurred this weird entry? Went to the dentist today to get a filling fixed. I got a "new and improved filling" while I was back at home during Christmas and spend 200 bucks on it only to have it fall out while I was sleeping. I had a lot to think about while waiting in terror (I am always in terror when I go to the dentist, despite knowing that there's nothing actually wrong with me) for my appointment. Good news is that I probably won't get eaten by any prehistoric predators, but the bad news is that now I might die of mercury poisoning from unknowingly swallowing a rather large metal filling. I bet Cave-Woman-Grace never had to worry about mercury-poisoning.

Currently Reading: By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept - Paulo Coelho
Currently Playing: Bubble Pop Electric - Gwen Stefani

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home