The topic for today: No matter how much I think I might blend into Japanese society, I still do several key things that make me stand out like a giraffe in a rice paddy.
Behavioral quirk #1: Apple-eating
I eat apples WHOLE. I don't peel them, nor do I cut them up into little bite-size chunks. I take big, unlady-like bites out of them. This apparently is of great interest to the Japanese, who are all slightly disgusted but at the same time highly intrigued. "Wow, you eat it like they do in movies..."
Behavioral quirk #2: Water-drinking
"What are you drinking?"
"It's water."
"Tea?"
"No, water."
"Oh, you mean mineral water?"
"No, just water."
"Soda water?"
"Nope, just plain boring water like the stuff that comes out of the tap and then you filter it with a Brita [moron]."
Behavioral quirk #3: Sandal-wearing
I wore flip-flops today because I just didn't feel like putting on socks and shoes and when I get to school, I have to wear indoor slippers anyway so what does it matter? Apparently, it matters a lot.
Behavioral quirk #4: Book-reading
Hardly any Japanese people read books and this surprises me because a lot of Japanese people spend hours commuting on trains. All they do is stare off into space (or at me because they're confused by my Asian face coupled with my weird behavioral quirks like this one) or stare at the cell phones and don't actually accomplish anything. The fact that I read a novel (not a comic book, GASP!) on my spare time is apparently a novel idea in this country.
Behavioral quirk #5: English-speaking
Yes, I speak English. Yes, I am Asian. Is that even possible?
"Blah blah blah" (that's me speaking ENGLISH)
"Why can you speak English?"
"Because I'm American."
"But why do you look Japanese?"
"Because my parents are from Korea."
"Oh, so you're Korean. But then why are you good at English?"
[suppress exhasperated sigh] "Because I'm American."
[head tilt to the side, look of confusion] "Eh?"
If I had a penny for every time I had that exact conversation (with foreigners in Japan as well; they can be just as ignorant) I could quit JET.
Because being of Asian descent is disadventageous to my American-ness, I made assumption that my brown eyes, black hair, and lack of nose would be advantageous with regrad to my Asian-ness. I cannot express to you just how wrong I was in that assumption. Which brings me to the next series of quirks.
Behavioral quirk #6: Sushi-eating
"You can eat sushi??!?"
"Yes, I like it."
"But you can't eat raw fish."
"Actually, I like raw fish, too."
[head tilt to the side, look of confusion] "Eh?"
Behavioral quirk #7: Chopstick-using
"You can use chopsticks??!?"
"Yes, I use them everyday at home."
"But you are American. Americans can't use chopsticks."
"That's not true. Many Americans can use chopsticks. Besides, my family is Korean. Believe it or not, Japan is not the only country in the world that uses chopsticks."
[head tilt to the side, look of confusion] "Eh?"
Behavioral quirk #8: Rice-eating
Cut and paste chopsticks dialogue. Replace "chopsticks" with "rice" and "use" with "eat." My ability to eat rice amazes them ("But, you're AMERICAN!") yet at the same time, so does the next quirk.
Behavioral quirk #9: Bread or sandwich-eating
"You're eating a sandwich!"
"Umm, yes, I am."
"But you're KOREAN!"
Someone shoot me or show me a place where I can eat in peace, where no one will comment on my rice, bread, apple, or water.
Conclusion: I'm fighting a war that can't be won. One where I am Korean when it's convenient for them and where I am American all of the other times. They have a really hard time grasping the fact that I am Korean and American. Even though I look Japanese, I really am a foreigner. And I still have to put up with 9 more months of this.
Currently reading: Ironically, nothing at the moment.
Currently playing: Veruca Salt - Forsythia
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