I have internet again!!! To commemorate this momentous occasion, let’s conduct an experiment.
Title: Confidence vs. Arrogance. A Study of the Changes in the Western Male Psyche Brought on by Extended Exposure to Japan.
Materials: Highly impressionable Western males, Japanese females, Japanese societal tendency to raise Western males to demi-god status, bunsen burner.
Methods:
1) Remove highly impressionable Western males from their respective home countries and add to a test tube containing generous portions of Japanese societal tendencies.
2) Heat test tube over the bunsen burner and allow mixture to come to a boil. The reaction material should now appear consistently big-headed. Remove from heat.
3) Decant contents of test tube into a beer mug containing Japanese females. Mix vigorously and record observations.
4) As a control, substitute Japanese males for Western males.
Observations:
Initial exposure to Japanese society has a positive effect on the Western male psyche, causing the previously shy and/or nervous specimens to become more confident and self-assured. Conversations between the males and both Japanese and Western females become wittier and more enjoyable for all parties, especially when alcohol—a catalyst—is introduced into the reaction.
However, after prolonged reaction time (anywhere between 3 weeks and a year, depending on the individual), the Western male undergoes an undeniable psychological change which can be picked up using certain obvious behavioral cues: refusal to shave one’s week-old stubble (“Japanese girls like me this way.”), gratuitous use of the words “me” or “I” in any and all conversations (“Everyone loves me.” “I am SO COOL.”), or complete confidence that one’s Japanese-speaking skills are superb (“I can have a meaningful conversation in Japanese.” “I’m taking the highest level on the Japanese Proficiency Exam. I can learn 2000 kanji in two months, no problem!”). Other tell-tale signs of confidence-turned-arrogance include, but are not restricted to, draping one’s arm around any female without even using the excuse of extravagant drunkenness, dating and dumping Japanese girls at a rate unheard of since caveman times, and neglecting to do one’s English teaching job properly (“My supervisor is cool like that; they just let me do whatever I want and it’s OK.”)
As expected, the control group, Japanese males, shows no difference in behavior when substituted for Western males under the exact same reaction conditions.
My Two Cents:
It’s interesting what living in a different country can do to you. What’s even more interesting is that those very same “reaction conditions” produce entirely different effects on the general Western female population. While Western boys get their egos boosted, sometimes to the extreme, we ladies suffer the very opposite fate. Surrounded by women who pamper themselves, wear mini-skirts in the winter, fit into an American size 0, and shower sweet feminine attention all over gaijin men, how can we help but to feel less womanly, less desirable, and less attractive? As one male JET actually said to a female JET: “Japanese women are just better than Western women. They’re skinnier, they’re prettier, and they’ll do what I tell them to do.”
Believe me, I’m not asking for attention or sympathy. I’m far beyond that now and I don’t need the attentions of Western men who currently would much rather have some Japanese take-out. I don’t blame them; I’d probably do the same. Instead, I’ve reached the Western female counterpart of Western males’ Japan-induced arrogance: extreme cynicism. I just don’t care. So in the meantime, I will climb Mt. Fuji. I will travel all over Japan and the rest of Asia. I will become a shit-hot snowboarder. I will expand my collection of tacky Japanese shoes. And I may return home a little disillusioned and possibly a little bitter, but that’ll be a small price to pay for all of the good stuff this country has to offer. That’s enough cheese for the day. Peace out yo.
Currently reading: Aurther Golden – Memoirs of a Geisha
Currently playing: Outkast – Hey Ya
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home