Monday, April 07, 2003
I know, I know... I said I would never do it. I said I would never start a blog. But until I can get my act together and actually start the online illustrated journal that I've been advertising on my website, this will have to do.
Actually, there is a reason why I decided to start this blog. Yesterday, I succeeded in doing something that I felt warranted recognition. I have one word for you all: Listerine. For those who have experienced "Listerine," I think you'll know what I'm going to talk about next. If not, well then.... go try it out. I highly recommend it.
So the directions state in a very matter-of-fact tone: Rinse full strength for 30 seconds. Easy, right? I think not....
Dental hygiene is one of those things that most people are really lazy about, limited to brushing twice a day and that's about it. I think I read somewhere that the average American uses only 14 inches of dental floss per year. 14 inches! I think I use that much in one day. So anyway, my last trip to the dentist resulted in an extremely annoying and painful root canal so now I'm paranoid about losing all of my teeth by the time I'm 40. I've become something of a tooth-brushing Nazi and I've recently added Listerine to my daily repertoire. And I've learned that 30 seconds isn't as easy as you'd think.
So here's the breakdown:
5 - 10 seconds: God that stings.
10 - 15 seconds: This isn't so bad anymore.... wait...
15 - 20 seconds: ARRRRRGHHHH!! (this is where I got my first time)
20 - 25 seconds: [no words to describe the pain. your eyes start to water at this point]
25 - 30 seconds: WAHOO!
And yesterday marks the momentous occasion where I was actually able to hold that stuff in my mouth for a full 30 seconds! I was crying uncontrollably and my tongue was utterly numb, but gosh darnit, my teeth had never felt so clean! Colgate commercials, here I come!
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